man-machine Posted January 22, 2017 Report Share Posted January 22, 2017 Oh no, not you again. Listen Donut-Ears, I've had about enough of you and your Hi-Bear-Nating, what do you think this is, "Bears Around the World" ? ? ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
man-machine Posted January 22, 2017 Author Report Share Posted January 22, 2017 Tonight's posting is being done to the backdrop of the movie Titanic. What a great movie with a great ship captain. At first he seemed angry about that bumper sticker someone put on the back of the ship that says: "How's my sinking?" But then he rises to the challenge by making announcements over the PA system: "Ladies and gentlemen the bad new is we hit an iceberg and are taking on water. The good news is the All-You-Can-Eat Buffet is now featuring fresh fish." 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
man-machine Posted January 22, 2017 Author Report Share Posted January 22, 2017 Ok, third and final post for tonight, and it's "Shop Humor" Humor for most situations, like that guy who's making some horrible chattering sound while machining, say things like: "Finish cut?" .... "Are you going for a 8 RMS satin microfinish?" "Could you keep the noise down? We're getting complaints fro the bowling alley next door." "Hey the guy across the street running the jackhammer went home early saying he couldn't stand the racket So what about me? I'm a terrible machinist because I ruin everything I work on. In fact when I was layed off for a year and not working the scrap metal traders on Wall Street were jumping out of windows. I introduced world-class manufacturing tolerances such as Plus or Minus a Hammer Handle, and the pinnacle of accuracy: "Dead Nuts Scrap" .... If it's undersize by an inch I make sure that inch is within .0002" There is other careers out there for me like selling AOL dialup from a JC Penny store, or maybe welder in a fireworks factory. Christmas is over and the Mistletoe Beltbuckles didn't sell like I hoped, neither did the ATV kickstands or my new line of biodegradable roofing products. Colorado weed thing? I'm getting less hits than an Amish website. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan Posted January 22, 2017 Report Share Posted January 22, 2017 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hugh Jass Posted January 22, 2017 Report Share Posted January 22, 2017 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan Posted January 22, 2017 Report Share Posted January 22, 2017 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimboS1ice Posted January 23, 2017 Report Share Posted January 23, 2017 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stercorarius Posted January 23, 2017 Report Share Posted January 23, 2017 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NicolasRamos Posted January 24, 2017 Report Share Posted January 24, 2017 Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nordraw Posted January 24, 2017 Report Share Posted January 24, 2017 I saw this guy last week. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimboS1ice Posted January 24, 2017 Report Share Posted January 24, 2017 Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk ProShould have a lowes apron on instead Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foneguy Posted January 24, 2017 Report Share Posted January 24, 2017 I think that was my HDSent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnarlyCarl Posted January 25, 2017 Report Share Posted January 25, 2017 I got in touch with my inner self .... That's the last time I'm using cheap toilet paper 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NicolasRamos Posted January 25, 2017 Report Share Posted January 25, 2017 I got in touch with my inner self .... That's the last time I'm using cheap toilet paper Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hugh Jass Posted January 25, 2017 Report Share Posted January 25, 2017 31 minutes ago, KnarlyCarl said: I got in touch with my inner self .... That's the last time I'm using cheap toilet paper Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stercorarius Posted January 25, 2017 Report Share Posted January 25, 2017 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimboS1ice Posted January 25, 2017 Report Share Posted January 25, 2017 That's a great episode!Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
man-machine Posted February 7, 2017 Author Report Share Posted February 7, 2017 On 1/24/2017 at 7:19 PM, Hugh Jass said: "I'm so sawwy, the blade sharpening guy is really set in his ways." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
man-machine Posted February 7, 2017 Author Report Share Posted February 7, 2017 Wow, great crowd, I worked up the nerve to come back after the recent rash of thefts from the company breakroom refrigerator (burp) quickly, let's review: Monday: The Frito Fiasco Tuesday: Dill Pickle Debacle Wednesday: The Cupcake Chronicles Plus they just hired a new Quality Source Inspector and the guy's name is Larry Bevel. My question: "Larry Bevel? What's his angle?" Outside of work, more problems with the girlfriend's eighteen year old overweight daughter, not only does she want to go skydiving for her graduation, she wants the optional jump video to be done also. Disney already has a movie with the same storyline, it's called: Operation Dumbo Drop. Do I really need to spend any more weekends sitting around listening to her pants stretch? And she backsasses me too, she said: "I don't have to respect you, you're not my real dad." So I told her: "The next time you need help with your car, you're not my real daughter." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
man-machine Posted February 7, 2017 Author Report Share Posted February 7, 2017 So on this forum my location says Western Colorado, and to be exact it's Grand Junction, Colorado. Don't laugh, this town is getting a lot more hip, I just saw a covered wagon with ground effects. You know you met your ideal soulmate love match in this town, your singlewide and her singlewide have the same centerline bolt pattern. And that new carpet? Much less wear & tear now that your wife and sister are the same person. There hasn't been any deaths in NASCAR lately but if there is the local trailerparks are requesting that all clothesline undershirts be flown at half-staff. My housetrailer has the premium upgrade features like the special Child Neglect Room with walk-in meth lab. Not only is the foundation skirted, so are most of my male friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regopit Posted February 7, 2017 Report Share Posted February 7, 2017 On 1/22/2017 at 9:13 AM, Logan said: I hate to say it but I have done this. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regopit Posted February 7, 2017 Report Share Posted February 7, 2017 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NicolasRamos Posted February 8, 2017 Report Share Posted February 8, 2017 Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T75R Posted February 9, 2017 Report Share Posted February 9, 2017 Hahahaaa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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